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Carrot Latkes with Yogurt Sauce

Prep Time 30 minutes
Cook Time 20 minutes
Total Time 50 minutes

Ingredients

Latkes

  • 4 cups Carrots, coarsely shredded
  • 2 tbsp Almond flour (NOT Bob's Redmill, it still sucks)
  • 1/4 cup Tapioca flour
  • 3 Eggs
  • 1/4 cup Cilantro, finely chopped
  • As many finely chopped scallions as you want (because this is America)
  • Kosher salt and pepper to taste

Savory Yogurt Companion

  • 3/4 cup Greek yogurt (do NOT use fat-free unless you hate yourself. The fatter the yogurt the better don’t listen to Steph)
  • As much cilantro/scallions/salt as your heart can handle
  • Drizzle of lemon juice and good olive oil [editors note: "Good" olive oil? Are you Ina Garten?]

Beverage Pairing

  • 1 swing-top thingy Raspberry-infused kombucha and ginger beer cocktails with low-end gin and Peychaud’s bitters
  • 3 Buckets Diet Coke
  • Several Beers?!!?!?!?!!?!?

Music Pairing

  • Hip-hop and R&B from the late 90s/2000s (i.e. LL Cool J, The Game, 50 Cent, The Roots, Mariah Carey, Cam’ron, Sade and/or anything that plays on 104.3 in Chicago)

Instructions

Latke Mixture

  1. Put your coarsely shredded carrots in a bowl lined with paper towels to drain the water off of them and then neurotically press them with more paper towels because why leave something alone when you can mess with it?

  2. After getting distracted for 15 minutes, sprinkle the man-handled carrots with the almond flour and 2 tablespoons of tapioca flour.

  3. In a separate bowl, crack and beat the eggs. Add cilantro, scallions, and salt to the bowl.

  4. Mix wet and dry ingredients together. If you did a bad job of drying your carrots, you might need to add 2 more tablespoons of tapioca flour to soak up the water because you’re a failure.

Yogurt Stuff

  1. Add yogurt, cilantro, scallions, salt together this isn’t rocket surgery.

  2. Drizzle with lemon juice and olive oil before serving because you’re an adult.

Latke Execution

  1. Ask Steph idgaf

  2. [Make Steph] post a blog about it (optional).

Actual Latke Execution

  1. Form carrot mixture into a patty about 3/4-1" thick about the size of the palm of your hand.

  2. Instruct someone with dry hands to put oil in a pan and set to medium-high heat, so it's ready for your perfect patties, wtf.

  3. Place the latkes in the pan and let them sit, always untouched, until they begin to brown and flip, about five minutes on each side.

  4. Top with yogurt stuff and take pictures until they're cold and you lose your appetite.

  5. Get drunk on gin drinks (required).